As a preteen in a small Appalachian town, contemplating self-harm as I was strung between my parents’ vicious custody battles, I learned of a privately operated counseling facility in a neighboring county. It was one of few in the area that advertised openings for new patients. I knew that counseling would be a lifeline.

But I also knew the counselor had turned away queer teens, citing her religious opposition to “a homosexual lifestyle.” Once, she had told my family about refusing to work with a young “dyke.” 

“Some patients have problems that I can’t fix,” she said. “Only God can mend a broken, sinful mind.” 

Without help from legislation such as the Equality Act, passed by the U.S. House of Representatives in February, mental health care was beyond my grasp. I thought that counselors were supposed to help broken people. How irreparably broken, how worthless, I felt when I understood that counselors or therapists could reject me based on my sexuality. 

The Equality Act would ban discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation in housing, employment, education and other areas of life. It would rein in the ability of an institution or a business owner to claim religious belief as a reason to turn away LGBTQ+ people. The law won’t eliminate hate and bias, of course. A homophobic counselor forced to see LGBTQ+ clients could be detrimental to their well-being, especially if they are seeking support related to their gender or sexuality.

But as an adolescent, I was in crisis. While coming to grips with my sexuality was stressful, I was also struggling with heavy pressures of family dysfunction and addiction. Visiting a counselor (even a bigoted one) might have given me the opportunity to address some of these problems, seek a referral to another practice or, even better, request a recommendation for a psychiatrist. Without access to any mental health care professionals, however flawed, I couldn’t take these steps. 

The House first passed the Equality Act in 2019, but Senators refused to consider the bill. It faces strong opposition again, as Republican Senators argue that it might infringe on business owners’ freedom of speech or religion.

Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ people continue to live out the very real, painful, realities of discrimination and the consequences for health.

Fifteen percent of LGBTQ+ Americans avoid getting health care for fear of discrimination.  Twenty-nine percent of transgender patients have been turned away from health services, and 8% of LGBTQ+ people report that a provider rejected them because of their sexuality. 

Fifty percent of LGBTQ+ people report that discrimination in their personal lives has hurt their mental health. As someone who did not get the therapy I needed at a formative age, I often consider how this discrimination feeds the systemically high rates of depression, drug abuse, and suicidal thoughts  among LGBTQ+ youth in this country.

And I wonder how many young people will be saved if the Equality Act becomes law.

The Affordable Care Act (ACA) prohibits discrimination by health care providers and programs that receive federal funding and by insurance plans that participate in ACA marketplaces. Some private health providers and businesses, including large ones, leverage such policies as the Religious Freedom Restoration Act to assert their right to deny service to LGBTQ+ people on the basis of religious freedom. The Equality Act would expand anti-discrimination protections to parties outside  the jurisdiction of the ACA. 

The next time I considered therapy, I was nearly 20 years old. The years of unaddressed loneliness and self-hatred weighed on my shoulders, metaphorically and literally. I carried tension in my shoulders, and even today I sometimes feel stinging residual shoulder pain. 

That weight also settled into scratches: I cut open the skin on my upper arms and collarbones with a razor as I regularly contemplated suicide.

I finally sought help from a therapist I knew personally — a woman who was accepting of LGBT people and would not turn me away. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Alongside my counselor and a psychiatrist, I finally established what I had long needed: a plan and the resources to survive. After starting on Prozac and working through therapy, I stopped cutting. 

How might the Equality Act lead to a better, healthier future for LGBTQ+ folks? First, the bill could help secure housing options because it would be illegal to reject a prospective renter or home buyer because of their gender or sexual orientation. 

People with consistent access to safe housing tend to report fewer health problems than their housing-insecure peers. LGBTQ+ people face high rates of homelessness and exclusion from domestic violence and homeless shelters. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development has found that same-sex partners often face discrimination when they try to buy or lease property. Housing insecurity can lead LGBTQ+ people to experience various health problems, including physical abuse from living on the streets, anxiety and depression, and hypertension. 

Second, LGBTQ+ patients could not be turned away from hospitals, mental health centers, or doctors’ offices because of their identity. 

Third, the Equality Act would crack down on discrimination in lending. While some states prohibit such discrimination, federal law remains unclear. The Equality Act would set a strong national standard and close loopholes that may be used to deny loans and banking services to LGBTQ+ people. Without access to credit, many LGBTQ+ people cannot hope to cover the out-of-pocket costs of a catastrophic illness or surgery.

The revived debate over the Equality Act has unveiled vicious biases against LGBTQ+ people. As Representatives prepared to vote on the bill, Georgia Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene mocked Illinois Democrat Marie Newman for hanging a transgender pride flag. Newman’s daughter is trans. Greene hung an opposing sign outside her office, which read, “There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.” These personal attacks amid the larger Congressional consideration of the Equality Act illuminate the countless ways that homophobia and transphobia permeate our society, all the way up to Capitol Hill.

The Equality Act can’t change someone’s mind about LGBTQ+ rights. Nor will it solve systemic issues that make health care inaccessible and unaffordable to so many Americans. Nonetheless, the act would go a long way toward helping LGBTQ+ people feel safer, live healthier, and have equal access to the services that their heterosexual and cisgender peers often take for granted.

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Some folks call it writer’s block. There are other excuses, also. As for myself, there are times when I just don’t feel like writing and couldn’t put two words together to make sense. It happens to us all.

Those who read our material have expectations and sometimes get quite upset when we don’t perform up to expected standards. There is an old adage which says you don’t really appreciate what you have until you don’t have it. Hello! All of us, journalists or housewives, depend on the written word for our daily existence. Every instruction, notice or convenience begins with a writer. In that sense, we are all writers in one sense or another.

That prescription the doctor gave you. Written down. Price tags in stores. Written down by someone before a printer gets near it. Our very existence depends in some manner upon a writer. Textbooks, fiction, non-fiction, recipes or travel brochures. There is a writer involved at some stage of the creation.

Even your entertainment media begins with a writer: Movies, television, radio, etc. We are inconvenienced when the power goes off or water stoops. Somewhere a writer is involved with how such events are handled. Instructions are written down by someone.
Unless you are writing million-seller novels or runaway song hits, writing is not going to fill your coffers with gold. Most professional writers are underpaid for the time and effort they put into the craft. Agents and publishers hack into your profits. That’s why so many writers of books today are turning towards self-publishing. That used to be preferred to as “vanity” publishing. Sort of like paying out your hard-earned cash to say, “Hey, look at me. Ain’t I something?” Today we look forward to ways to keep more of the money we earn without sharing it. Dean Koontz once told me, as to my books, “Get a lawyer, not an agent. You only pay the lawyer once for his work.” Sound advice, but we all get ripped off until we are what they refer to as” established.”

So why do we write? Ask anyone who writes for a living and they will tell you, “I do it because I love being creative, or something close to that. We just do it like a musician loves to make music. Most writers write because they have to. It is in their very essence to do so. If we weren’t paid we would do it for the privilege of putting words together to create something. One of the first thing anyone learns is how to write. A great columnist, Walter Winchell once told me that writing is all about putting one word after another and making sense. Sage advice.

Writers have a creed, or maybe that’s just the way I see it. Our job is to inform, educate and entertain, but not necessarily in that order. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh yes, people buy newspapers and magazines for the written content, not the ads. That’s why advertisers pay big bucks to get their product featured in the most-read publications. The public buys for the stories, not the ads.

We moan and complain like everybody else, for one reason or another, but love of the art is what we work for. We do it for us and for you. Just sayin’ rustystrait@gmail.com

Rusty Strait • Senior Reporter

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America’s Changing Lifestyles – Part VI

Miami – Not all Sunshine and Beaches

The 1968 Republican Convention preceded the Democratic fiasco in Chicago a week or two later. However, in some ways, it was an omen of things to come. Out of California came Ronald Reagan, who, with Nelson Rockefeller of New York, plotted to block Nixon’s nomination. Of course, they were unsuccessful. Reagan would have his day down the road. A group of Black civil rights activists plotted to usurp the convention. Thousands of fliers were passed out in the ghettos announcing a civil rights rally on August 7th, featuring civil rights leader Ralph Abernathy and Wilt Chamberlain. Both shunned the demonstration. The crowd grew angry and attacked a white cameraman. By evening an angry redneck drove his car, bearing a Wallace For President” bumper sticker Liberty City ghetto. Angry demonstrators forced him out of his car and fleeing on foot to escape; God only knows what. The Chicago Daily Defender described it as one of the “worst racial disorders” in Miami’s history. Nixon, in his hotel room, later tallied the vote count from the floor of the convention and never acknowledged (if he knew) that such an event took place.

Mayhem in Chicago

The chaos that erupted at the Democrat’s Convention in Chicago, a city under the tight control of Democratic Mayor Richard Daley, turned out to be more social riot than convention. Daley was dictating from the floor to the podium. It had been a decade of assassinations, anti-war protests, the feminist movement and general unrest throughout the country. President Johnson was hated by half the country because of the Vietnam War. The other half detested him, especially in the South, because of his Voting Rights and Civil Rights legislation that affected the Southern States more than others. His decision not to run for a second term left the party, came about because he hoped to reunite the country, leaving the nomination up for grabs. During the several days in which Vice-President Hubert Humphrey was finally selected as the party’s nominee, the Convention floor was more war zone than voting delegations. Riots in Chicago had played a large part in the city’s history since 1919. Most were caused by unrest in Chicago’s predominantly Black population.

Johnson, aware of the possibility of trouble, wanted the convention held elsewhere. Daley flew to Washington and eventually convinced the President that the party would fare better in Chicago because Houston, which Johnson preferred, was a sure bet to vote for the Democratic candidate. Turned out to be a wrong decision. Riots began early in town and on the floor of the convention hall, mostly due to anti-war feelings across the country and especially within Democratic circles. The administration had promised that an end to the hostilities would come soon. By 1967 we had sent half a million troops into the jungles of Vietnam where we were ill-equipped to fight guerilla warfare.

As North Vietnamese hordes were destroying American troops on the terrain we did not understand; the government continued to lie to the American people. The war was almost over; we were assured daily. It was all a lie. People were disenchanted and ready to rise at the least provocation. Daley’s Chicago cops were met with resistance as they attempted to quell the rioters and in the end, it became almost another Civil War. Government against the masses. Tear gas, mace and clubs became the weapons of choice within the convention center as well as the windy city’s streets. Six thousand national guardsmen plus U. S. Army troops with machine guns, rocket launchers and other instruments of destruction patrolled the streets. Chicago was not the issue – it was merely symptomatic of the mayhem from coast to coast brought about due to a number of civil unrest issues, but predominantly the war. The riots could have happened anywhere, but Daley’s lust for more power and politics in general, set about to light the flame in Chicago.

Space Cadets

President Kennedy promised “a man on the moon in this decade.” When Neil Armstrong parted Apollo 11 and stepped onto the moon, Kennedy’s promise was kept and began what would become our never-ending race to space. Young men and women aspired to become astronauts, desiring to go where man had never been. New industries were created to take us beyond our galaxy. Space toys were the rage. Space movies and television soon followed. Space changed our lifestyles so dramatically that even the automobile that had taken us across the continent seemed more like a relic than a mode of transportation. The auto survived as we continue to penetrate the ether above us.

The Beat Goes On

Nixon inherited the Vietnam War. A divided nation transferred its anger from Johnson to the new President. No matter what he did, “hell no, I won’t go,” chants echoed across the country. He campaigned with what he called, “a secret plan” to end the war. Kissinger went to Paris to conduct peace talks. They dragged on for weeks and months without results. Nixon was serious, and to prove that he wanted to keep his promise, in June 1969, he reduced American troops by withdrawing 25,000 of our forces in Vietnam. Nixon hit a bump in the road when the Pentagon Papers were leaked to the public, proving that more than one administration had lied to the public about the Vietnam disaster. When he ordered an invasion force into Cambodia, he totally lost any support the voters had for his efforts. Although the Paris Peace Accords in 1973 theoretically ended our involvement in Southeast Asia, events that followed in Vietnam between 1973 and 1975 destroyed any claim to peace or honor for the United States in Vietnam. Embittered veterans returning from Vietnam were disgusted with the Johnson and Nixon administration. To this day, faith between the Department of Defense and Veterans is touchy at best.

Your President is not a Liar

Nixon, facing impeachment over the bungled break-in at Democratic Headquarters, resigned rather than face a trial in the Senate, which would have exposed him and his administration as the most corrupt in recent history. Gerald Ford, who had replaced disgraced Spiro Agnew as vice-president, succeeded Nixon. One of Ford’s first acts as President was to pardon Nixon of all crimes committed or alleged to have been committed during his two terms in the White House. It looked, at the time, that Ford might be another Harry Truman – bringing the country together after a disaster. He served less than a full term. In 1976 a peanut farmer came out of the middle of Georgia and defeated him soundly.

Trends

Despite all the turmoil and disruption throughout the sixties and seventies, everyday life in America presented changes that were often rejected, ignored or omens of the future. Take your choice. Bell bottom jeans, loose-fitting cotton shirts became the uniform of unity among America’s youth. Rebellion was still an odious cloud amongst them. Colors emerged in dress styles, even among the intelligentsia, trying to stay youthful.

The sparkling balls of disco led the way to dance halls. Folks of all ages donned gauche jumpsuits, gold chains and what has since become known as bling (carried forth by Sammy Davis, Jr., and television’s Mr. T.) Mini, midi and maxi dresses came into full fashion. Platform shoes were the style for whatever gender you happened to adopt.

Homes did not escape the color trend. Often the walls in living rooms took on the aura of game arcades. Youth ruled. The rush to be young again pervaded department stores, furniture and clothing outlets. Age became a number. Why be old when a new garment, some make-up and a trip to your favorite hairdresser would turn you into a mannequin of the kid you used to be.

A new version of rock came into existence during the seventies. Kiss, the Bee Gees, psychedelic rock, hard rock, heavy metal. If parents thought the sixties music was driving them mad, the seventies sent them into despair. Easy listening was relegated to AM radio for the “old folks at home.”

The method of delivering music, outside of radio and television, came from old and newfound inventions: vinyl, cassettes, 8 track tape. The music industry, as Hollywood did in the fifties, complained that new inventions would rob them of their business. And, like Hollywood, the new inventions only added billions to their coffers. Pet rocks, like the hula hoops of the past, became popular as doorstops and paperweights. People gave them names. And we think things are silly today. CB radios were popular not only with truck drivers, but you could have them in your family car for a fee.

Folks, these trends were only precursors to the future. Continued Political Furor Jimmy Carter was confronted with rising inflation. At one point, interest rates were up to 21% in some instances. Economic conditions worsened. Ridesharing increased along with soaring gasoline prices. The Supreme Court became more liberal on civil rights and job protection. For his contribution to the Camp David Agreement between Israel and Egypt, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. He turned over the Panama Canal to Panama and opened diplomatic relations with the People’s Republic of China.

The explosions at Three Mile Island’s nuclear power plant stifled future atomic energy expansion in 1979. During his term, Congress approved two new executive departments: The Department of Education and the Department of Health and Human Services. However, a major international crisis occurred when Iranian militants, in 1979, seized the American Embassy in Tehran and took all employees hostage.

Although Carter arranged for their release, it wasn’t until the day of Reagan’s inauguration that they were freed. Carter’s brother, somewhat of a loose cannon, did several things that embarrassed the President and his administration. Most people liked Billy but thought he was the family clown. Carter was considered a good man, a decent man. Although he had been aa two-term governor of Georgia, he never managed to unite with Congress, which weakened his ability to move legislation into law.

Because of that, he has been considered one of our less effective commanders in chief. Back in private life, he has devoted himself to humanitarian projects and both he and his wife have made a positive post-government career in the Habitat for Humanity. Here Comes the Movie Star Carter’s run for a second term brought him up against two Republicans. John Anderson and Ronald Reagan.

Reagan swept them both aside like a tsunami. Economically we were in deep doo-doo. People were rushing to the polls to vote for change. Good men sometimes get lost in the fray. The times continue to be a’changin’.

Just sayin’. rustystrait@gmail.com

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Stress is an important and natural stimulant that compels us to adapt to a new environment or lifestyle change. It causes a physiological response that helps us either flee or fight the threat or stressor. But spending too much time on high alert can have damaging health effects.

Prolonged, unwanted and unmanageable stresses like the ones so many people are facing during the pandemic can take a toll, causing anxiety, irritability, nervousness, sleeplessness and digestive upsets. Stress can also aggravate or even trigger chronic diseases.

Here are some easy, natural ways to cope:

1. Write a gratitude list. Grab a blank piece of paper and write down a list of things that you are grateful for. This has been proven to drastically improve one’s mood and completely change their perspective. You might even consider making this a daily habit and keeping a journal.

2. Do a random act of kindness. Consider donating to an organization feeding those in need or asking an elderly neighbor if you can pick anything up for them at the store. Give a colleague a compliment. It feels good to do good.

3. Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Think about that person you used to be close to but just haven’t had the time to catch up with. Go ahead and give them a call or arrange to video chat! They will appreciate hearing from you, and reconnecting can put you both in a much better mood.

4. Go for a walk. Step outside and enjoy the fresh air. Going for a walk can help to clear your head.

5. Meditate. You don’t need to invest a lot of time. Meditating for even just five to 10 minutes can reduce stress and anxiety.

6. Use homeopathy. Homeopathic medicines offer a simple, low-risk solution as they do not suppress the cause of stress itself, but provide enough relief to help you face it and react appropriately.

“Solutions are not always simple. Stress pills, or anxiolytics, relieve tension and some physical symptoms of stress, but unfortunately, they have unwanted side effects, like drowsiness, and can be habit-forming,” says Dr. Ken Redcross, author of “Bond: The 4 Cornerstones of a Lasting and Caring Relationship with Your Doctor,” and founder of Redcross Concierge. “However, homeopathic medicines provide an easy, lower-risk treatment option.”

Consider using Sedalia from Boiron to relieve nervousness, hypersensitivity and fatigue due to everyday stress, and Quietude to address occasional sleeplessness or restless sleep. Claims for these products are based on traditional homeopathic practice, not accepted medical evidence. They are not FDA evaluated. To learn more, visit shop.BoironUSA.com.

While a certain amount of stress is normal and natural, too much of it for too long can have harmful health impacts. To cope safely, take natural steps to relieve tension and worry.

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One day as I stopped at a red light. There was a gentleman sitting on the grassy pavement right across from my window, and it looked like he was saying something to me. I opened my window and he asked the usual question that we have heard so often here in Hemet, “Can you spare some change?”

I laughed and said, “Do you see my car? It takes eighty dollars to fill my gas tank. I never have any spare change and even if I did, I can’t afford to give it away. I need gas.”

This may sound bad to some people, but we come across so many people asking for money that we eventually become desensitized. That gentleman didn’t look like a homeless person; you know the kind, with dirty clothes, talking to himself, challenging an invisible opponent to a fight, and so on. He looked sober enough and sane enough that he should’ve been looking for a job; not asking for handouts.

In the good old days, I used to give a dollar here, two dollars there. But, as the onslaught of homeless people increased, it became harder and harder to give money to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Eventually, it became difficult to even tell who really deserved it, and who was just doing it as a hobby.

Once I saw two ladies, in a nice car, who parked out of sight and came out holding cardboards with handwritten signs, asking for money. You know the “type”: they’re usually standing at a busy intersection with a sign that says, “Hungary. Please help.” I was amazed at the sheer audacity. Another time I was standing in line at the bank and saw two homeless persons, whom I used to see on the intersection near my work, waiting in line to deposit money. One was explaining to the other the different accounts that the bank was offering to its customers.

It hit me then that being homeless for these people is not a tragedy, but a lifestyle. They are not homeless, as in having no place to stay, but are homeless, as in having a job. They make money, just like regular workers. If in an hour, they can have a few people give them money, they make the equivalent of minimum wage that normal workers make, but without having to do any actual work.

These days I dread going to a gas station, a liquor store, or to places like Walgreens. There are so many “homeless” people waiting for you to make an eye contact so they can then pounce on you. My favorite are the ones carrying a gas can, pretending that they happen to run out of gas at a GAS STATION, and need help. I mean, honestly!

I enjoy my morning commute when all the homeless people come out of the woodworks and Florida Avenue becomes full of hustle and bustle, as they search for coffee and donuts. There is so much life, so many stories, and so much adventure moving around with shopping carts full of their worldly possessions. I was really impressed with one in particular, who was using a Home Depot cart, the one that is used to carry sheets of wood; he had it covered on the sides with blankets and was able to lie down in the center, using it as a bed at night. Ooh, how resourceful!

Then there are the ones that travel in pairs. Usually the girl is on a skateboard, a little clumsy because she just started learning how to skate, and the guy is on a bicycle, which was meant for a child but somehow this gentleman with face full of tattoos ended up having to ride. Girl is always wearing shorts and really tight fitting shirt and the guy with a T-shirt, baggy shorts, and a backpack. Both riding around, passing the time away.

I feel sorry the most for the girls that don’t have someone to ride with, so they spend time walking up and down Florida Avenue all by themselves, having nowhere in particular to go, because, you know, they are homeless. They are usually dressed in a very provocative way, as if they are going to a nightclub, but just walking across the length of, again, Florida Avenue. They are not even asking for anything. Instead, if I happen to make an eye contact by mistake, they actually point to themselves and ask me instead if I want something from them. I have to raise both hands to say no, because, you never know when my wife would happen to be passing by and I would have to say goodbye to this world.

I do have some touching moments when I feel moved and find myself compelled to do some good deed. Like the day, in the parking lot of Walgreens at the corner of Lyon, and you guessed it, Florida, a young, fully tattooed man, out of breath simply due to walking, stopped by my car and tried to ask for something, while gasping for air. I didn’t understand him at first, but he finally managed to say it properly: “Sorry, heroin. It is affecting my breathing. Can you spare some change?” I gave that man five dollars. Heroin is expensive and five dollars probably weren’t enough, but they would go a long way towards helping him. I felt good, for once.

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