A famous columnist, Max Stone, was found deceased at his manual typewriter, fatally stabbed in the back. His agent, Roger, found his dead body when he checked on Max to find out why he hadn’t submitted his latest column. He immediately called the police who noticed that Max had been writing his column when he was killed; the last thing typed was “49t34 w5qgg3e j3.” It appeared a random string of numbers & letters created when his body slumped dead onto the typewriter.

   The police questioned the people closest to Max and found several suspects: Marisa – the ex-wife, who had been fuming over alimony payments; Max’s current girlfriend – a gold-digger; and Max’s brother Gerald – who had dated Marisa before Max stole her away from him. The police quickly ended the investigation and made an arrest. So – be wise here – can you figure out who killed Max?

   Answer: Max’s agent – Roger – did the dastardly deed. The police looked at Max’s last written message again and discovered that the columnist had typed out the identity of his murderer, but his fingers had been just one line up on the keys from where they should have been. Instead of writing, “Roger stabbed me,” he had written “49t34 w5qgg3e j3.” So clever! Did you get it??

   Solomon had a similar puzzle to figure out. He is said to be the wisest man in the Bible – a gift from God. The Lord appeared to Solomon one night in a dream and told him, “Ask for whatever you want Me to give you.” Instead of asking for riches or fame, Solomon requested wisdom: “So give Your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong.” God was so pleased with Solomon’s request that He also gave him wealth & honor – “So that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings.” Wow! Talk about the favor of God!

   Solomon’s first challenge came as a dispute between two women – both had recently given birth to sons, but during the night one woman accidentally rolled over on her baby, killing him. So, she pulled a “switcharoo” and swapped out her dead baby for her friends living baby, now claiming the live baby was hers. What would Solomon do?

   Solomon’s response was to cut the child in two. He gave orders to get the sword. One woman agreed but the real mother shouted an immediate, “NO!” She would give up her precious, sweet baby before seeing him killed. The baby was hers! It was profound wisdom on Solomon’s part.

   Down through the ages, wisdom & knowledge have been highly prized and the mark of wisdom for many has been the number of books they possessed. In fact, there was once a man in the 10th century named Abdul Ismael – a ruler in Persia – who had a library that consisted of 117,000 volumes. Adbul loved his books so much he traveled with them. He used 400 camels which were loaded with his library and these canals walked in an alphabetical order so that he could obtain the volumes he wished at a moment’s notice. Thankfully, today we know that wisdom isn’t measured by the number of books we own.

    And – the Bible actually tells us there are two kinds of wisdom. There’s a wisdom that comes from heaven (God) and a worldly wisdom. Worldly wisdom limits our vision and thoughts to the things on this earth, which are temporal – ignoring eternal values of God, which always lead to life!

   Solomon wrote often about wisdom: “How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver!” And, his best one-liner: “Blessed are those who find wisdom!” 

   But how to get it? James 1:5 instructs us with this: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously…and it will be given to you.” It all starts with God!! All of it.

Bob and Susan Beckett pastor The Dwelling Place City Church at 27100 Girard Street in Hemet, CA. For more information, you may contact them at DPCitychurch.org

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   Proverbs 15:15 tells us, “He who has a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” Proverbs 17:22 says that “A merry heart is good – just a medicine!”  I love those verses. How many sourpuss believers are out there who think it’s a good thing to be a grump?  Lots, trust me.  But thankfully, that’s just not what the Bible teaches.

   There’s a funny retraction that one church had to print after a big boo-boo in their church newsletter – “First Church’s musical in last week’s paper should have been said, “Our God Reigns.” We mistakenly printed, “Our God Resigns.” Oops! Happily, God is not dead nor is He a grump and He probably got a big kick out of it. 

   Every area of your life matters to God. 3 John 2 is one of my all time fav verses: “Beloved, I wish above all things that you would prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.” A ‘prospering soul” includes a joyful & happy soul. So…with that in mind, let me share a hilarious story with you ~

   After a particularly mild winter, the small town of Chestermere became overrun with squirrels in the spring. Because the local churches had the best trees, the squirrels often congregated (pun intended) near them. This is what each church decided to do about the pesky animals.

   The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

   At the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

   The Lutheran Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.

   But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

   But, surprisingly, not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue. Come to find out, they took the first squirrel and circumcised him and they haven’t seen a squirrel since…

   Who among us doesn’t like a good laugh?! Everyone!! So – I’ll end with this. There was once a pastor who was asked to speak at a service in a large industrial plant. He was told about a certain worker who was an ardent atheist who wouldn’t be caught dead at his meeting. 

   The pastor deliberately walked up to this man’s work area just before the event and said to him, “Did you ever think how much we have to thank God for?” Before the man could respond, the pastor continued…”Take your nose for example. If anyone else but God had given it to you, it might have been turned upside down. Then if it rained, you would drown, and if you sneezed, you’d blow your hat off.” 

   The man was so intrigued by the pastors humor, he stayed to listen – he heard the Gospel and made a decision for Christ that very afternoon. Humor can definitely be engaging. 

   Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us there’s “A time to weep and a time to laugh.” I personally think we need more laugh time and I ditto what Henry Ward Beecher said about this subject: “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” Soooo – one more funny for the road: “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone gong faster than you is a maniac?”  ~ Compliments of George Carlin

Bob and Susan Beckett pastor The Dwelling Place City Church at 27100 Girard Street in Hemet, CA. For more information, you may contact them at DPCitychurch.org

The post Funny Girl      appeared first on The Hemet & San Jacinto Chronicle.

Bob and Susan Beckett pastor The Dwelling Place City Church at 27100 Girard Street in Hemet, CA. For more information, you may contact them at DPCitychurch.org

The post The Other Dimension appeared first on The Hemet & San Jacinto Chronicle.