The whole world is abuzz with news that COVID vaccines cause our bodies to become magnetized. There are countless videos on the internet demonstrating how metal objects start to stick to people who have recently been vaccinated. It is not clear if the site of injection is magnetized or we, the vaccinated ones, turn into magnets. It does, however, explain why, after receiving my vaccinations, my needle now is always pointing North. That is the basic theory behind magnets and if you don’t know it, I have to complain about our educational system.
Some people say that the metal objects stick because the skin is wet due to perspiration, or the incline of our deltoid muscles is such that the coin just stays in place as our muscle keeps it from falling. But I didn’t get my vaccine in my arm. Instead, I was injected in my gluteus maximus. Once upon a time, I could bounce a quarter off of my gluteus maximus, but now I can’t. My wife says it is because of my age and how the skin loses some of its elasticity as we get older. But I don’t agree with her. The quarter doesn’t bounce—because it now sticks to it. I can slide across my couch and pick up all the loose change that has been hiding in the cushions. There is some benefit to becoming a magnet, after all.
As a side note, when I first heard these rumors about the vaccine turning us into magnets, I wanted my wife to test the theory. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if I should be alarmed, but the first thing she wanted to use was a kitchen knife. If one of my kids hadn’t interrupted us, I may very well have made yet one more trip to the hospital.
The question that one must ask: why are the vaccine makers using magnetized chemicals, or magnetic particles in these vaccines? I have an explanation and it seems to make sense to me. These vaccine sites act as cell sites—better known as cell towers—to receive and focus G5 signals that they are using to alter our DNA and to control us from within. These G5 signals then help the microchips in our bodies to receive and transmit data and to get updates and upgrades as they become necessary.
If you haven’t heard by now, then let me be the first to tell you, that Pfizer is now pitching the idea of a third shot, and they are calling it a booster shot. They have, by now, realized that most of us are a little on the obese side. Extra layers of fat in our bodies and the heavy amount of cholesterol in our blood tends to interfere with the signal. They are noticing an “erosion of vaccine efficacy” as we send more and more data back to them through these magnetic channels. They now need a “signal booster,” that’s why they refer to it as vaccine booster, haha, as if we won’t pick up on the joke. They are so blatant about everything that they don’t even care if we know what they are doing.
The plot is even more sinister. I have to delve into some heavy science to explain it. As we all know from our introductory Chemistry classes, all molecules in our bodies have what is commonly known as a dipole moment. A dipole moment results from electrical polarity (read that as magnetic polarity) of these chemicals. The bigger the chemical, the stronger the magnetic polarity. Since DNA is a huge molecule in our bodies, it has the largest dipole moment—thus the strongest magnetic polarity. Have things started to fall into place for you yet, or not? The magnets in these vaccines help pull the DNA strands apart, because the magnetic dipole of our DNA is attracted to them, thus making it not only easy, but extremely efficient, for the mRNA (messenger RNA) in these vaccines to get in there and do its job of changing things around. Very convenient, huh? Our DNA is being modified by these vaccines, yes, and all those stories that we have read on social media are, therefore, correct. As a full disclosure, I know all this because I am a Biochemist through my education. I have studied DNA, and enzymes, and proteins. My graduate presentation was about snRNPs (pronounced “snurps”), which stands for small nuclear ribonucleoproteins. With latest technologies, we are now dealing with nanoparticles, and Pfizer is working with a company known as BioNTech. Put all the pieces together and we start to see the big picture. Now, our first reaction about this flagrant DNA manipulation is of fear. Oh my goodness, the big government is changing our DNA, and we automatically assume that it is a bad thing. But, consider for a moment, why can’t it be a good thing?! I mean, there is some DNA that should definitely be modified, and possibly even be improved upon.
Let me give you exhibit A: my kids. I have six of them. That is my DNA roaming the earth. Yes, some of you smarty pants will say that it is also that of my wife, but you all know that my DNA is the dominant one. Nothing sexist about it. Just the way God meant it to be.
My one son can play Xbox for eighteen hours in a row, but he can’t get through a six-minute video for his class. He’ll spend hours looking for answers to his school homework on the internet, in other words, cheating, but won’t read the one page assigned where all the answers are given. Now, that DNA could stand some modification! Maybe an improved DNA will take my other son out of the gym and put him into a job. Maybe my two daughters will stop breaking out into heavy bouts of eczema whenever they have to do any kind of physical work.
Maybe my hair will start growing where they belong—on my head—and not into my ears or my nostrils. Maybe my Achilles tendon will heal itself after I tore it climbing one flight of stairs. Maybe the diabetes gene that I inherited from my mother will finally be suppressed and let me live a normal life. Maybe that Alzheimer’s that is on its way to erase all the good memories from my mind, will be rendered to the annals of medical history. I don’t mind if I have to vote for Democrats for the rest of my life, or to have to accept that climate change is real, or to even sign on to the Green New Deal. It will all be worth it.
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