Susan Beckett

It’s hard if not impossible these days to find anyone who hasn’t heard the term “fake news.” But as I was mulling over this fairly new tag, I thought that, in fact, fake stuff has been around for quite a long time. Think about it - we have fake jewelry, fake meat, fake grass, fake Christmas trees, and even fake “people” riding in the passenger seats of cars driving in carpool lanes. Strange sight, I’m sure!

I’m not sure this exact scenario has ever happened to you, but here’s my sad tale of woe. I’m getting ready to go out - I get dressed, fix my hair, put on my makeup, (stick with me here men) feed the dogs, feed myself, and off I go. I talk to a ton of people, but upon arriving home, I happen to glance in the mirror and notice a big, red streak of bright red lipstick across my front tooth. OMG! I instantly flash back in my mind - “How many people did I talk to and why didn’t anyone say something?”

Every so often I read of excuses people make for all sorts of things; everything from lost homework, to why they can’t exercise, or why their crazy kids are crazy! My very favorite excuses are work related. So much funny stuff out there. Here are just a few of my all time favorites. “My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.” “My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.” And the one I would personally use: “I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn’t find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again!” I know - that one’s pretty sad!

Back in the day when Bob and I still had young children at home, I baked a lot more often. Poor Bob - these days it’s Stater Bros Inc for all his baking needs! But we had pumpkin and zucchini breads, cinnamon rolls, and other yummy delights on a regular basis. One afternoon, while in the kitchen making rolls, our young daughter Sharon happened to walk in. She stood for a bit, just watching, before finally blurting out, “Is that the roll that’s called up yonder?” She caught me so off-guard I just had to laugh. Apparently she loved that song - “When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder I’ll Be There,” but was pretty clueless as to its true meaning. Too funny - guess we never know for sure what kids are thinking — adults too, for that matter!

I love reading through the Chronicle each week, but this week, reading the editorial by Bob Franken just had me bristling! According to Franken, the Republican Party is “a party that is now home to almost all bigots.”