Thoughts and Prayers

Date:

I was having lunch with my wife when the terrible news broke that there had been a
shooting at one of Trump’s rallies. A terrible sense of fear ran through our bodies as we
expected the worst. We both cried out in unison, “Oh, God! I hope he is okay, and nothing
has happened to him.” For once, God did listen, and Trump was okay. There was an injury
to him, which is bad on its own, but he survived this heinous act.
The most memorable image to come out of this whole unfortunate event is that of Trump
raising his fist and screaming, “Fight, fight, fight!” That image will live forever in the history
books, and it gives Trump the look of a tough guy. Even though his life was on the line, he
kept urging his followers to stand tall and fight. He went beyond what even George
Washington accomplished. It was truly a heroic moment. Now he is bigger than all the
previous presidents combined.
His injury will be his medal of honor, and his blood running down his face will forever show
him as the warrior who literally stood between us and the oncoming bullets. That image
will be more famous than the image of our soldiers raising our flag on Iwo Jima. His blood
was so red, so bright and shiningly red, that there is no choice but to literally anoint him the
quintessential red-blooded American—nay, red-blooded patriot—who is going to Make
America Great Again.
Now that we know for sure that he is okay, let’s follow the protocol that our nation is so
familiar with and that has been set in stone by Republicans and Democrats alike from all
walks of life. We have perfected this protocol after there have been way, way too many
shootings in our nation. It is a protocol of our own making, and there is no deviating from it
under any circumstances. Unless some Republican may think differently now that Trump
is the victim of this shooting, and not some school children, or Black churchgoers, or
Hispanic shoppers, or Jewish worshipers in their synagogue. None of them matter much,
but Trump matters a whole lot more.
The first step is to send our thoughts and prayers to all the victims. Thoughts and prayers
are what Trump used to send to all the victims of one shooting or another. Thoughts and
prayers are an expression of deep sympathy, and they convey the heartiest condolences to
those facing the tragic loss of their loved one. I will use Trump’s own words, so I don’t
misstate the sentiments one bit. Here’s what he said after one shooting: “I want to send
our support and our deepest sympathies to the victims and families touched by the terrible
[…] shooting. It’s just horrible, so surprising to see it here. But have to get over it, we have
to move forward.” Very comforting and touching sentiments, indeed. His words pull at my
heart strings.
The second step is to make sure that we don’t waste any of our time discussing guns, gun
laws, or any way to alleviate such shootings. As Speaker Johnson once said, “Now isn’t the
time for gun control,” and I agree with him. Now is really not the time to discuss gun laws.
We have to focus on the Republican Convention, which is only days away and which may
have already finished by the time you read this. As he also said, “The problem is the human
heart. It’s not guns.” He is brilliant in his assessment. Guns don’t shoot people, people
with bad hearts shoot people. Like this young kid who tried to shoot Trump and the people
around him.
In the words of Mitch McConnell, “Only serious, bipartisan, bicameral efforts will …
produce further legislation that can pass the Senate, pass the House, and earn the
president’s signature.” In his words, “Partisan theatrics and campaign-trail rhetoric will
only take us farther away from the progress all Americans deserve.” He is so right. We
don’t even know how the Senate will be, come January, or the House, or even the
Presidency. There is no way to pass anything right now—or ever—to be honest with you, so
why even bother bringing it up!
The third, and the most important step, according to Trump himself, and I am saying it
using his own words one more time, is: “Third, we must reform our mental health laws to
better identify mentally disturbed individuals. Mental illness and hatred pulls [sic] the
trigger, not the gun.” He is so right, and I am so glad that he is okay, and he’ll be back to his
high-energy, campaign-trail rhetoric. He is a very strong leader, and just like he shrugged
off COVID as easily as flicking a piece of lint off of one’s shirt, he is going to toss aside the
pain. “A bullet to the ear” can’t keep a good man down. Trump is a really, really good man.
I don’t want to dampen the mood by pointing out that both of the parents in the case of
Trump’s shooter, Thomas Matthew Crooks, are licensed behavioral counselors. They were
extremely rightly positioned to make a good assessment of Thomas’ mental illness, but
they didn’t, and this tragedy happened which involved Trump himself. Mental illness is a
very complicated condition and there are no easy answers. Then why bother our politicians
with the burden of actually passing laws, which is their real, and their only, job, instead of
their full-time grifts and click-baiting their followers with extremist nonsense.
We only mention mental illness because the shooter happens to be White. That can be the
only explanation. If it had been someone with a little extra melanin in his skin, then it would
be his deranged beliefs, his animal kingdom race, his [S-word]-hole nationality, and his
subhuman culture to blame for his actions. All [H-word] would have broken.
I was praying even harder and louder, and hoping with the entirety of my being, and saying
this over and over, with the utmost desperation, “Oh, God, I hope the shooter is not a…” I
kept my prayer going until the authorities identified the shooter. I was praying because I
wasn’t ready to be blamed for the acts of one mentally ill individual who turns out to speak
the same language as I do. I wasn’t ready for the accusations of being a part of some
worldwide conspiracy, just because we can trace the origins of that idiot to the same
CONTINENT as where I may have originated from. I thank the Almighty that I was
vindicated. He answered two of my prayers in one day. I am now going to buy that lottery
ticket. Who knows where I may end up?!

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