Emotions all too often overrule common sense


Rusty strait | Senior Reporter

Have you ever wondered, “Why does she hang on to that jerk? He’s terrible for her. It is obvious to everyone except the person with the emotional attachment. Why do we have love at first sight? We don’t know anything about the object of affection. There is no rhyme or reason for the attraction – only emotion.

Great minds have pondered the question only to walk away scratching their heads and asking the age-old question, “Why?”

Why are we so attracted to self-centered people who will use every and anybody to that old devil, “self-satisfaction?” We caution our friends to stay out of the marsh while we are knee-deep in the mire of emotional attraction ourselves. The self-centered Romeo attracts others with visual and audio tools, says Christine B.L. Adams, M.D. “Initial positive attractions to self-focused people do not hold up over time. People attracted to narcissistic people possess their own distinct traits.”

Who is the weaker, the person who is emotionally attracted to someone or the someone they are attracted to who might not care for anyone’s feelings except their own? Numerous studies say the “user” we are attracted to is weak and frightened. In actuality, he or she needs us more than we need them. They flit from one emotionally subdued person to another with the same results – they never really feel wanted.

At first sight, they can hook us. We leap without knowing what to expect, only that we “feel” something for that person without knowing what kind of person or situation we have unthinkingly thrown ourselves into; our only explanation? “There was something about him. Millions of individuals know the feeling; they just don’t know why and are so enamored with the moment that they never consider the consequences.

While the object of the infatuation is often a helpless person who demands much support, attention and constant admiration from others. Something that only emerges after the emotional snare is set into the relationship.

The person who is attracted will want to be there for the weakling, supporting, praising and comforting the subject of their emotions. They are thrilled at the idea of caring for such a wonderful person. The narcissistic person does not really possess such imagined traits. However, the person you may have found so wonderful that you would do hand flips for has you mesmerized into their life and they will drain you of your energy, your money or even your life.

In time that person you have become so emotionally attached to will feel disappointed in you and the relationship starts to change. Then you begin to feel betrayal and an unstable situation ensues.

The experts only speculate as to why emotions shove common sense over the cliff when the relationship begins. An old adage is, “All that glitters is not gold.” From all the studies and opinions, it seems that the only cure is time, experience, and “I should have known better, but I couldn’t help myself.”

You may think you are strong and it couldn’t happen to you. Then one day your emotions take over like a bear trap and you are off to the races – races that leave you hating yourself for being so stupid. Just around the corner, there may be another emotional attraction and two; one says you will fall into the pit just like you did the last time. I can see you shaking your head in understanding – even if it is your secret. Just sayin’

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DISCLAIMER: The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various author’s articles on this Opinion piece or elsewhere online or in the newspaper where we have articles with the header “COLUMN/EDITORIAL & OPINION” do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints or official policies of the Publisher, Editor, Reporters or anybody else in the Staff of the Hemet and San Jacinto Chronicle Newspaper.

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