(Time Heals all Wounds)
A Different Point of View
“Time heals all wounds” is an age old saying that people use to comfort someone who is sad, or hurt, or who has suffered a loss. The idea being that sadness lessens given enough time, or that the period of mourning will be over—eventually. I am talking about emotional and psychological wounds, of course, and not the actual, physical ones. Physical wounds, if deep enough, always leave a scar behind, with deep and thick scar tissue to remind us of the shock that caused it. Emotional and psychological wounds actually have a chance to fully heal and leave no scar tissue behind, as the wisdom goes, but do these wounds really heal completely, given enough time?
They don’t completely heal, we all know that. We can pretend that they are healed, because no one can really see the actual wound. It is us who feel the pain, and it is us, who have to deal with the suffering. We can pretend that we are not suffering, even when we can barely stand the suffocating pain. We can also pretend that there is no wound to begin with by repeating over and over that it didn’t hurt! At the same time, there are those who enjoy the pain and like to suffer. They keep picking on the wound, until it festers and gets infected, and gets loaded with, you know, the “p” word. Yes, there is an emotional equivalent of the “p” word to that of the “p” word for physical wounds.
Before I say more, let me tell you about my favorite meme about this subject. It goes like this: My therapist told me, “Time heals all wounds.” So, I stabbed him. Now we wait…
Heal, don’t heal! That’s not important. What is important is how we deal with the pain. As one smart cookie said that it’s what we do with the time that heals. Some prefer pain killers. Drinking comes to mind. The heavier the pain, well, the heavier the drinking. It is like applying Orajel to the area. Numb the heck out of your tissue. Eliminate all the nerves that keep firing and the pain is no longer there. It may be a temporary solution, but hey, it works for the time being. We can apply more when the pain starts again. Keep numbing the pain and eventually, the pain will be replaced with some other problem. That is one way to solve our dilemma, replace one pain with another.
Or we could replace the horse that we fell off, with another horse. Some of you may readily know what I am talking about. It is about replacing the source of the pain with another equivalent source. Run from the arms of one, into the arms of another. You can forget about the pain if you can find a way to forget about the pain-giver. This method works like magic. Poof, and we are on another track and setting ourselves up for another, but different pain.
There is also the option to be the one causing the pain and not be the one suffering from it. Break hearts instead of getting your own heart broken. Cause emotional trauma to others before someone can hurt your feelings. Go on the offense, instead of being on the receiving end of things. Take the first shot; throw the first punch; make the first move; throw the ball, long and deep.
My favorite technique is to not give a darn. Don’t let anything bother you. Be nonchalant, as people who know me are sick and tired of me saying that. If you don’t make yourself vulnerable to emotional and psychological distress, well, then no one can cause any harm. Just don’t fall in love, or be attached to anyone, or even care. Once you achieve this aloofness, there will never be any wounds that need healing. You’ll go through life with no pain, and with a lot of gain. You’ll see that people are drawn to you like flies. It is human nature to try to change you in such a way that you become susceptible to such harmful things like affection, friendship, and adoration. But you don’t really need any of them to live a successful and fulfilling life. Yes, people say that to truly be happy, you do need such things in life. My response is very simple: Why try to be happy and risk being hurt, when you can just be content and live carefree. Why, indeed!
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