Rusty Strait | Senior Reporter
Why are so many people, or claim to be, alone and lonely? Not a day goes by that you don’t hear someone say, I’m so alone or lonely for some reason or other. With all your friends and close relatives, you have no idea what they are talking about. And yet, for some unknown reason, the fault lies with the individual. When you least expect it, you may become the victim yourself.
A close friend or favorite relative dies suddenly and a space in your heart is suddenly emptied without warning. All too often, mourning will move in and take over your very existence. You wonder if you will ever get over it. There will be a natural amount of grief, but you don’t have to make a lifetime career. When tragedy takes someone out of your close circle, look for a replacement. Maybe it is something temporary. It doesn’t matter because the sooner you start filling the empty space, the old “tenant” in your life will eventually become someone that “used to” be part of yourself. You ask, “What can I do? How do I go about finding a new occupant in my life? Occupy that space. Take up a hobby. Spend nights out at entertainment venues or local taverns. Spend some afternoons in the park, take a walk with your dog. No matter how shy you are, animals are great communicators.
There are other situations when you have similar feelings of loneliness. You had a childhood in which you were isolated and away from social activities. Although most won’t accept the fact, I’ve known high school graduates who were homeschooled and never had a social life. Strange as it may seem, some parents do all they can to prevent their offspring from having a life outside the family or their adult family friends. Anytime a youngster is isolated within a clannish family, you can bet something will pop up in the future that may chase them down a hole if that hasn’t already happened to them.
Many suicides are brought on because of lonesomeness. If you were never permitted to have personal friends as a child, you will most likely end up alone and lonely and you won’t even know why. One excellent way to get out of a dark and lonely hole is to seek professional help. First of all, you have to want to be “normal.” Do not be ashamed to seek help. Maybe it only involves something as simple as talking to someone you trust. When you share your burden, it might disappear quicker than you think.
Becoming alone and lonely is an emotional disease and emotions are all too often affected by fear. You fear loneliness and you fear the outside world. The only true blue was out of that dark corner is to want it. If you don’t want it, then you are not likely to change from clouds to sunshine in your life. If you don’t want to be alone and lonely, you can make an effort to find a brighter path, or you can simmer in misery that you don’t need. The first step is a step toward the freedom from sadness that you seek. Try it. It works Just sayin’
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